Mothering Magazine on Divorce
The other day a friend of mine, recently divorced, told me, “When I met her, I stopped living day to day, and started planning for the future.” Then, after a series of unforgivable transgressions, he accepted the inevitability of their divorce and realized the transiency of the future. He is, once again, living day to day and enjoying every moment he can with the knowledge that nothing is permanent. As Alisa Holleron says in “The Woman in My Seat,” “I cried because life often turns out so differently than you imagine it will.”
That doesn’t mean the changes, as difficult as they may be, are not for the best. Articles editor and product reviewer Candace Walsh recently released an anthology called Ask Me About My Divorce. “As a mom and a woman,” explains Candace, “I made a very specific decision to divorce my own experience of our family's shift from the old-school, stigma-ridden general perception of divorce.” Her anthology is a collection of essays by women who have experienced divorce, and broken out into a new life full of the possibility of renewal. Candace explains, “The change contained the requisite stress and pain for each of us, but it also opened up vast tracts of potential for joy and growth.”
Of course, divorce can be harder when there are children involved. The emotions, guilt, and responsibility are much greater. It’s often hard to believe that a better life awaits your children, as well—one that doesn’t include routine fighting, the cold shoulder, or tension. Joy Johnson addresses common misconceptions about divorce and how it affects children in “Resources for a Healthy Divorce.”
That’s not to say that every partnership doesn’t undergo trying times. Hurt feelings, anger, and the boredom of daily routine all contribute to difficult moments for even the strongest marriages. These moments, too, can serve as a cleansing for us and for our partners. We go deeper, know each other better and come out stronger. Candice White shares her heart-wrenching experience that, in the end, allowed her to stay with her husband.
When the best thing to do is move on, a little support can go a long way. As Joy Johnson puts it, “It's a death of a relationship with no corpse to mourn.” You can find support within MotheringDotCommunity. Also, Mothering expert Ellen Craine has extensive experience working as a mediator, social worker, and coparenting facilitator. And, finally, Wendy Strgar, owner of Good Clean Fun, specializes in helping to keep relationships sustainable and healing intimate connections.
Relationships, after all, are part of our personal journey.
That doesn’t mean the changes, as difficult as they may be, are not for the best. Articles editor and product reviewer Candace Walsh recently released an anthology called Ask Me About My Divorce. “As a mom and a woman,” explains Candace, “I made a very specific decision to divorce my own experience of our family's shift from the old-school, stigma-ridden general perception of divorce.” Her anthology is a collection of essays by women who have experienced divorce, and broken out into a new life full of the possibility of renewal. Candace explains, “The change contained the requisite stress and pain for each of us, but it also opened up vast tracts of potential for joy and growth.”
Of course, divorce can be harder when there are children involved. The emotions, guilt, and responsibility are much greater. It’s often hard to believe that a better life awaits your children, as well—one that doesn’t include routine fighting, the cold shoulder, or tension. Joy Johnson addresses common misconceptions about divorce and how it affects children in “Resources for a Healthy Divorce.”
That’s not to say that every partnership doesn’t undergo trying times. Hurt feelings, anger, and the boredom of daily routine all contribute to difficult moments for even the strongest marriages. These moments, too, can serve as a cleansing for us and for our partners. We go deeper, know each other better and come out stronger. Candice White shares her heart-wrenching experience that, in the end, allowed her to stay with her husband.
When the best thing to do is move on, a little support can go a long way. As Joy Johnson puts it, “It's a death of a relationship with no corpse to mourn.” You can find support within MotheringDotCommunity. Also, Mothering expert Ellen Craine has extensive experience working as a mediator, social worker, and coparenting facilitator. And, finally, Wendy Strgar, owner of Good Clean Fun, specializes in helping to keep relationships sustainable and healing intimate connections.
Relationships, after all, are part of our personal journey.
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