conquest of anger Swami Sadasivananda 2 & 3
Happiness is a state of mind
sun is our consciousness
clouds are like the mind.
Never changing conscience, we cannot control our life, life is, as is.
If we think we can control it, we are deluded.
Once we understand this we can control our anger.
We control our anger towards persons superior to us. We became angry with people that we can get away being angry around.
We put together persons and their qualities, and don’t discriminate. Once you separate the person and their qualities we can discriminate.
Inappropriate attention causes emotions to arise, we need to practice patience.
When you see images don’t react, be non reactive. This will help you control your mind. Don’t let thoughts became you.
Anger is a distortion of perception. It’s the easiest emotion to see a pattern- often one breaks communications with someone you are angry with, or you ignore their presence.
Forms of anger
1. Withdrawl
Capacity to change is youthfulness, it’s a spiritual practice.
Expressions of anger
Individual and Collective
Collective anger is war, it’s a spill of anger. Volcanoes and earthquake’s are forms of collective anger.
Take criticism from others, it is a method of learning about ourselves. How we look outside challenges images of ourselves, how solid we take ourselves to be. Minor disagreements, that we can’t synthesize are a cause for separation If we have similar patterns with others, our weaknesses are amplified. We get upset when people are different. We cannot except one another as we are.
Crisis are turning points for transformation. When friction occurs there is hope for improvement. When we condemn people there is no hope for improvement.
Heart has two beliefs superficial and deep belief.
2. Sarcasm- critical remarks irritation, restlessness directed towards anger. Perfect life of conflict hates choices. Yoga teaches us that nothing happens outside the mind.
We gradually grow into consciousness that connects us, and feeds our soul. Don’t let your words be more wise than your deeds. Violent movies are a rehearsal of anger.
3. Passive aggressive is submerged anger. It is emotionally unadvisable. You ignore someone you feel unsafe with. Its not about them, its about us.
4. Bitterness -resentment is a form of undigested anger. Often in long term relationships familiarity breeds contempt. People in these relationships feel free to express displeasure.
5. Rage, fury, wrath
There is a gap between what we want to do and what we do. What you want is manifested outside, and inside. .Sow a thought reap an action. All actions proceed from thoughts.
Actions reap a tendency, tendency reaps a habit. Habits reap character and character reaps destiny.
thought-action-tendency-habit-character-destiny.
Kind tendencies crystalize into kind habits.
Anger can be traced to your thoughts. Control your reactions- reactions became obsessive.
Angry people have a certain body language, if you see someone in a negative way you are creating a habit of anger which results in the formation of character.
8 results of anger
1. Killing
2. Unhappiness
3.Angry people create enemies lose friends, people fear you. Positive merit gives us an opportunity to practise karma and gain wisdom.
4. Lose opportunity to learn if you are angry.
5. You became obsessive
6. Emotional and paranoid.
7. Lonely
8. Desolate
Class 3 Anger vs Conflict
Prevent a conflict from arising- learn to anticipate possible problems, reduce the intensity, duration and number of conflicts.
Work on conflict resolution at home, with partners and at work.
1. Requires flexibility, do not be rigid and a stickler.
2. Don’t try to subdue a person.
3. Admit another point of view.
4. Every person has different needs and desires, learn to synthesize differences.
5. Solve conflict in a positive way.
6. Difficulties are the path, and conflicts are the way to develop forgiveness.
7. Give up the desire to dominate. Domination only manifests in relation to others.
Plan
life is unpredictable, we are not ready for it. Security cannot be found in stiflyling environments. Deeper transformations comes from repeated actions, conflict is good, include some negotiations
Stick to one issue at a time. In the West people are focused outside, in the East there is feminine quality in the West more masculine qualites are promoted, it's good to synthesize the two.
Two groups of people
1. Conflict avoiders
2. Anger lovers, anger energizes them.
Perception of scarcity- lack of respect, lack of love. You feel others do not recognize your values. This is sometimes real, and sometimes projected.
Take time to resolve conflict.
Two types of conflict- habitual know what the other person is going to say, and put yourself in autopilot. This is a useless conflict, with no solution, both parties are vague about what bothers them.
Ways to prevent you from getting involved in conflict.
a. take responsibility for your own anger
b. avoid blaming phrases, we are the architects of our own lives.
c. personal commitment to remain calm- free from agitation in the face of disagreement or provocation. Abhyasa practice deal with problems. Remaining calm becomes second nature. Happiness is a choice.
d. Anticipate and intercept your anger and frustration. Recognize and plan, before your anger arises.
e. Substituting anger with something positive.
f.Pick your conflicts carefully.
g. Accept differences.
h. Use praise and reward.
Why do we get angry?
1. Hungary for recognition and acknowledgment.
2. Acknowledge presence of everyone.
3. Anxiety
4. Anger is submerged fear
5. Loneliness is anger
6. Poverty is a lack of communication.
7. People hurting are those inside your house.
8. People are tired, burnt out and angry, unable to digest experiences. Make a space for yourself.
Karma yoga is selfless service. When we work so hard, who are we producing for?
Privacy is important. Sleep is the practice of deep sadhana.
Eat by yourself.
Be alone with your partner.
Chronically angry have heart problems.
Practice relaxation
When you are angry there is a communication breakdown, its difficult to think clearly. We over interpret other peoples words and deeds., we are cognitively rigid, we see others as lazy, stupid, incompetent, we define others in a rigid way.
Monologues going on, we should try and hear ourselves.
We became obsessive we have thinking that we can’t let go.
Paranoid irrational distrust and suspicion
Get the facts
Avoid generalizations
Perceive our anger coming in small waves
Stop talking and take a time out
Walk away, discuss later
Deep breath
Resolve conflict
10 types of angry personalities
1.Conflict avoiders- some are healthy and are enlightened, good to be out of conflict.
2 Passive aggressive don’t get mad get sneaky. Don’t admit anger, sabouteguers
3. Overly suspicious have problems with trusting
4. Sudden exploders blasters, intimidatory
5. Conflict creators
6. Mr bully forces you into submission, lonely evicted from power, short term gain, but he becomes the victim again.
7. The thin skin very sensitive, do not yell at me I will fall apart.
8. Habitual complainers- their is nothing good in this world. Grouch and grumble.
9. Moral crusader fight for justice, grudge holder of resentments.
Active listening
1. Pay attention
2. Intimidate obstructions in your listening
3. Focus on the conversation, put aside other thoughts and do not interrupt
4. Non verbal recognition
5. Repeat, restate and paraphrase
6. Ask questions for clarification
sun is our consciousness
clouds are like the mind.
Never changing conscience, we cannot control our life, life is, as is.
If we think we can control it, we are deluded.
Once we understand this we can control our anger.
We control our anger towards persons superior to us. We became angry with people that we can get away being angry around.
We put together persons and their qualities, and don’t discriminate. Once you separate the person and their qualities we can discriminate.
Inappropriate attention causes emotions to arise, we need to practice patience.
When you see images don’t react, be non reactive. This will help you control your mind. Don’t let thoughts became you.
Anger is a distortion of perception. It’s the easiest emotion to see a pattern- often one breaks communications with someone you are angry with, or you ignore their presence.
Forms of anger
1. Withdrawl
Capacity to change is youthfulness, it’s a spiritual practice.
Expressions of anger
Individual and Collective
Collective anger is war, it’s a spill of anger. Volcanoes and earthquake’s are forms of collective anger.
Take criticism from others, it is a method of learning about ourselves. How we look outside challenges images of ourselves, how solid we take ourselves to be. Minor disagreements, that we can’t synthesize are a cause for separation If we have similar patterns with others, our weaknesses are amplified. We get upset when people are different. We cannot except one another as we are.
Crisis are turning points for transformation. When friction occurs there is hope for improvement. When we condemn people there is no hope for improvement.
Heart has two beliefs superficial and deep belief.
2. Sarcasm- critical remarks irritation, restlessness directed towards anger. Perfect life of conflict hates choices. Yoga teaches us that nothing happens outside the mind.
We gradually grow into consciousness that connects us, and feeds our soul. Don’t let your words be more wise than your deeds. Violent movies are a rehearsal of anger.
3. Passive aggressive is submerged anger. It is emotionally unadvisable. You ignore someone you feel unsafe with. Its not about them, its about us.
4. Bitterness -resentment is a form of undigested anger. Often in long term relationships familiarity breeds contempt. People in these relationships feel free to express displeasure.
5. Rage, fury, wrath
There is a gap between what we want to do and what we do. What you want is manifested outside, and inside. .Sow a thought reap an action. All actions proceed from thoughts.
Actions reap a tendency, tendency reaps a habit. Habits reap character and character reaps destiny.
thought-action-tendency-habit-character-destiny.
Kind tendencies crystalize into kind habits.
Anger can be traced to your thoughts. Control your reactions- reactions became obsessive.
Angry people have a certain body language, if you see someone in a negative way you are creating a habit of anger which results in the formation of character.
8 results of anger
1. Killing
2. Unhappiness
3.Angry people create enemies lose friends, people fear you. Positive merit gives us an opportunity to practise karma and gain wisdom.
4. Lose opportunity to learn if you are angry.
5. You became obsessive
6. Emotional and paranoid.
7. Lonely
8. Desolate
Class 3 Anger vs Conflict
Prevent a conflict from arising- learn to anticipate possible problems, reduce the intensity, duration and number of conflicts.
Work on conflict resolution at home, with partners and at work.
1. Requires flexibility, do not be rigid and a stickler.
2. Don’t try to subdue a person.
3. Admit another point of view.
4. Every person has different needs and desires, learn to synthesize differences.
5. Solve conflict in a positive way.
6. Difficulties are the path, and conflicts are the way to develop forgiveness.
7. Give up the desire to dominate. Domination only manifests in relation to others.
Plan
life is unpredictable, we are not ready for it. Security cannot be found in stiflyling environments. Deeper transformations comes from repeated actions, conflict is good, include some negotiations
Stick to one issue at a time. In the West people are focused outside, in the East there is feminine quality in the West more masculine qualites are promoted, it's good to synthesize the two.
Two groups of people
1. Conflict avoiders
2. Anger lovers, anger energizes them.
Perception of scarcity- lack of respect, lack of love. You feel others do not recognize your values. This is sometimes real, and sometimes projected.
Take time to resolve conflict.
Two types of conflict- habitual know what the other person is going to say, and put yourself in autopilot. This is a useless conflict, with no solution, both parties are vague about what bothers them.
Ways to prevent you from getting involved in conflict.
a. take responsibility for your own anger
b. avoid blaming phrases, we are the architects of our own lives.
c. personal commitment to remain calm- free from agitation in the face of disagreement or provocation. Abhyasa practice deal with problems. Remaining calm becomes second nature. Happiness is a choice.
d. Anticipate and intercept your anger and frustration. Recognize and plan, before your anger arises.
e. Substituting anger with something positive.
f.Pick your conflicts carefully.
g. Accept differences.
h. Use praise and reward.
Why do we get angry?
1. Hungary for recognition and acknowledgment.
2. Acknowledge presence of everyone.
3. Anxiety
4. Anger is submerged fear
5. Loneliness is anger
6. Poverty is a lack of communication.
7. People hurting are those inside your house.
8. People are tired, burnt out and angry, unable to digest experiences. Make a space for yourself.
Karma yoga is selfless service. When we work so hard, who are we producing for?
Privacy is important. Sleep is the practice of deep sadhana.
Eat by yourself.
Be alone with your partner.
Chronically angry have heart problems.
Practice relaxation
When you are angry there is a communication breakdown, its difficult to think clearly. We over interpret other peoples words and deeds., we are cognitively rigid, we see others as lazy, stupid, incompetent, we define others in a rigid way.
Monologues going on, we should try and hear ourselves.
We became obsessive we have thinking that we can’t let go.
Paranoid irrational distrust and suspicion
Get the facts
Avoid generalizations
Perceive our anger coming in small waves
Stop talking and take a time out
Walk away, discuss later
Deep breath
Resolve conflict
10 types of angry personalities
1.Conflict avoiders- some are healthy and are enlightened, good to be out of conflict.
2 Passive aggressive don’t get mad get sneaky. Don’t admit anger, sabouteguers
3. Overly suspicious have problems with trusting
4. Sudden exploders blasters, intimidatory
5. Conflict creators
6. Mr bully forces you into submission, lonely evicted from power, short term gain, but he becomes the victim again.
7. The thin skin very sensitive, do not yell at me I will fall apart.
8. Habitual complainers- their is nothing good in this world. Grouch and grumble.
9. Moral crusader fight for justice, grudge holder of resentments.
Active listening
1. Pay attention
2. Intimidate obstructions in your listening
3. Focus on the conversation, put aside other thoughts and do not interrupt
4. Non verbal recognition
5. Repeat, restate and paraphrase
6. Ask questions for clarification
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