Working With Anger by Thubten Chodron

Working with Anger, by Thubten Chodron
Just finished reading this insightful book on anger management. This Buddhist monk combines psychological knowledge with spiritual wisdom. I am going to outline notes from the appendix of her book on techniques on working with anger, they are quite self explanatory.

Training in patience
Mindfully observe our anger
Understand each other’s needs and concerns
Ask ourselves whether the other person is happy

Coping with criticismAcknowledge our mistakes
Learn from our critics
Deal with false criticism calmly
Communicate well
Leave the situation if necessary
Learn to evaluate ourselves
Allow others their opinions
Don’t see criticism where there is none
Counteract the critical, judgmental attitude

The blaming gameSee how we co-create situations
Look from a broader perspective
Handle illness wisely

When our buttons are pushedKnow what our buttons are
Close the internal courtroom
Let go of the “rules of the universe”
Discover the real issue

Acceptance and empowerment
Accept what is happening
Act or relax
Discover power
Have a compassionate heart
Accept that our control is limited

Meeting the enemyGive the pain to our self- centeredness
See how the enemy benefits us
Remember the potential goodness of the enemy
Repay hostility with kindness


Letting go of grudges and resentment
Avoid cultivating grudges
Understand why others harm us
Remember our commonality with others
Forgive others

When trust is betrayed
See the person as our supreme teacher
Inspect our unrealistic expectations
Rejoice in our postive past
Accept that change is universal
Recognize the nature of cyclic existence
Look at our situation from a wider perspective

The snake of enemy
See the disadvantages of enemy
Change our motivation to wishing others happiness
Don’t envy what doesn’t bring lasting happiness (or even what does)
Rejoice that others are better than we are
Rejoice in others’ good fortune and excellent qualities

Anger at ourselves
Have love and compassion for ourselves
Focus on the positive
Value our circumstances
Acknowledge our mistakes and laugh at ourselves
Accept ourselves as we are
Remember our Buddhist potential
Aspire to change
Purify negativities

Cultivating love and compassion
See the advantages of a kind heart
Mediate on the kindness of others
Mediate on love
Understand compassion
Mediate on compassion
Mediate on taking and giving
Practise visualization and chanting meditations
Practise love and compassion in our lives

Helping others subdue their anger
Listen to friends who are angry
Do not take sides
Let go when we cannot help
Teach children to work with their anger
Be a good example
Love children when they are angry

Wisdom that relaxes the mind
Try to find the “I” that is angry
Free ourselves from anger completely

Here is a link to her home page