When your spouse is your business partner
Interesting to learn how different personality types interact.
November 27, 2009, 9:12 am When Your Spouse Is Your Business Partner
By BARBARA TAYLOR
If you have to be a little crazy to be an entrepreneur, going into business with your spouse must represent a special kind of lunacy. My husband, Chris, and I have been business partners for more than six years. In that time we’ve started two businesses, sold one of them, had two kids and gotten more or less used to the daily roller coaster ride of entrepreneurial life.
Chris and I had a meeting of the business minds early on. We met back in 2000 at a wireless service provider where we were both working. Chris had just sold his share of a machine shop to his partner, and I had come skulking back to the “old economy” after two whirlwind years at dot-com ventures in Seattle. The job market was tight, and we were both hired for our experience, tenacity and M.B.A.s. When we announced our engagement a couple of years later, one of our co-workers said, “You two are nuts if you don’t start a business together.”
We became business partners about four months after our wedding. In many ways, our partnership works for the same reason that any business partnership does — we have complementary strengths and skills. His are sales and negotiation; mine are marketing and analysis. Chris is the consummate people person, while I don’t mind sitting alone and reading through contracts.
Underlying these different skill sets are two very different work styles. Chris has the focus and intensity of a laser beam, while I tend more toward a scattershot approach. Either method can be effective, but failure to understand — and respect — different work styles can be a major cause of stress, resentment and fractured communication in any relationship.
A small business is, well, small. You can’t exactly hide. Working with your business partner, then going home with him or her every night brings a level of closeness that most couples never encounter. Here are a few tips:
Understand your spouse’s work style
Several years ago, as part of the marketing department at a large public company, I participated in a team-building exercise based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator theory of personality type. The most valuable part of the workshop was learning my co-workers’ personality types. We had badges with the four-letter acronym for our type (I’m an INTP) stuck on the outside of our cubicles for weeks afterward. Every time I glanced at a badge underneath a co-worker’s name I’d think to myself, “Now I understand why that person drives me crazy.”
Understanding your spouse’s personality traits and work style can help you avoid the tendency to take things personally. If Chris focuses his laser on my work product, I don’t have to get defensive. If I’m tackling what appear to be too many projects at once, Chris doesn’t feel the need to pipe in with unsolicited direction. We know how the other guy works and appreciate that our differing approaches help make our partnership successful.
Set the ground rules for failure
Part of being an entrepreneur is learning from your mistakes. As George Naddaff, founder of Boston Chicken, once said, “No business, no problems. No problems, no business. Problems are opportunities for solutions.”
Chris and I know that we’re not going to be in complete agreement on every issue. We state our case to each other, sometimes forcefully, but at the end of the day someone’s going to have to give ground. We allow each other to experiment with some of the low-risk decisions — a new concept for a networking event, direct-marketing campaign or referral arrangement. If it works, we celebrate. If not, we don’t play the blame game.
Learn how to shut it off
One of the enormous perks associated with being in business with your spouse is the support that you’re able to give each other. I see many business owners — yes, they are usually male — whose spouses aren’t on board with their entrepreneurial endeavors. It’s not unusual for clients to seek our firm’s assistance in selling their business for the sole reason that their spouse has given them an ultimatum: It’s the business or me.
One of the downsides of being in business with your spouse is that the line between work and home doesn’t get blurred, it gets obliterated. After six years, Chris and I are still terrible at shutting off business after hours. Some of our best discussions are over morning coffee, on weekends, or at night after our kids are in bed. While it’s great that we can run our business 24/7 if need be, we’re aware that the shoptalk can become all-consuming. In the end, we know our priorities. We love our business, but we love each other more.
Are you and your spouse business partners? What are you finding to be the perks and pitfalls of running a business together? Any suggestions?
November 27, 2009, 9:12 am When Your Spouse Is Your Business Partner
By BARBARA TAYLOR
If you have to be a little crazy to be an entrepreneur, going into business with your spouse must represent a special kind of lunacy. My husband, Chris, and I have been business partners for more than six years. In that time we’ve started two businesses, sold one of them, had two kids and gotten more or less used to the daily roller coaster ride of entrepreneurial life.
Chris and I had a meeting of the business minds early on. We met back in 2000 at a wireless service provider where we were both working. Chris had just sold his share of a machine shop to his partner, and I had come skulking back to the “old economy” after two whirlwind years at dot-com ventures in Seattle. The job market was tight, and we were both hired for our experience, tenacity and M.B.A.s. When we announced our engagement a couple of years later, one of our co-workers said, “You two are nuts if you don’t start a business together.”
We became business partners about four months after our wedding. In many ways, our partnership works for the same reason that any business partnership does — we have complementary strengths and skills. His are sales and negotiation; mine are marketing and analysis. Chris is the consummate people person, while I don’t mind sitting alone and reading through contracts.
Underlying these different skill sets are two very different work styles. Chris has the focus and intensity of a laser beam, while I tend more toward a scattershot approach. Either method can be effective, but failure to understand — and respect — different work styles can be a major cause of stress, resentment and fractured communication in any relationship.
A small business is, well, small. You can’t exactly hide. Working with your business partner, then going home with him or her every night brings a level of closeness that most couples never encounter. Here are a few tips:
Understand your spouse’s work style
Several years ago, as part of the marketing department at a large public company, I participated in a team-building exercise based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator theory of personality type. The most valuable part of the workshop was learning my co-workers’ personality types. We had badges with the four-letter acronym for our type (I’m an INTP) stuck on the outside of our cubicles for weeks afterward. Every time I glanced at a badge underneath a co-worker’s name I’d think to myself, “Now I understand why that person drives me crazy.”
Understanding your spouse’s personality traits and work style can help you avoid the tendency to take things personally. If Chris focuses his laser on my work product, I don’t have to get defensive. If I’m tackling what appear to be too many projects at once, Chris doesn’t feel the need to pipe in with unsolicited direction. We know how the other guy works and appreciate that our differing approaches help make our partnership successful.
Set the ground rules for failure
Part of being an entrepreneur is learning from your mistakes. As George Naddaff, founder of Boston Chicken, once said, “No business, no problems. No problems, no business. Problems are opportunities for solutions.”
Chris and I know that we’re not going to be in complete agreement on every issue. We state our case to each other, sometimes forcefully, but at the end of the day someone’s going to have to give ground. We allow each other to experiment with some of the low-risk decisions — a new concept for a networking event, direct-marketing campaign or referral arrangement. If it works, we celebrate. If not, we don’t play the blame game.
Learn how to shut it off
One of the enormous perks associated with being in business with your spouse is the support that you’re able to give each other. I see many business owners — yes, they are usually male — whose spouses aren’t on board with their entrepreneurial endeavors. It’s not unusual for clients to seek our firm’s assistance in selling their business for the sole reason that their spouse has given them an ultimatum: It’s the business or me.
One of the downsides of being in business with your spouse is that the line between work and home doesn’t get blurred, it gets obliterated. After six years, Chris and I are still terrible at shutting off business after hours. Some of our best discussions are over morning coffee, on weekends, or at night after our kids are in bed. While it’s great that we can run our business 24/7 if need be, we’re aware that the shoptalk can become all-consuming. In the end, we know our priorities. We love our business, but we love each other more.
Are you and your spouse business partners? What are you finding to be the perks and pitfalls of running a business together? Any suggestions?
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